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Be me.
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Go to school
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Everyone else in my class counting on fingers
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Pull out Abacus
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Crowd immediately forms
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“Hey guys! He’s doing multi-variable calculus over here!!!”
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Smile smugly. Don’t these kids know the abacus has been around for 3000 years?
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Teacher tells me to stop cheating. Accuses me of black magic
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Just laugh. Calculate pi to 100 places. People running out of the room screaming and crying.
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Sent to principle’s office. Principle amazed by my technological expertise. Nominates me for Head Boy.
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Ministry of Magic sends down delegation to investigate my new kind of wizardry
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Correctly estimate the future national gross domestic product for the next two quarters
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Voldemort appears and tries to steal my device
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Perfectly calculate the circumference of his head. Voldemort banished to the shadow realm for 10,000 years.
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Everyone cheers
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Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody walk the dinosaur
True story
The fact that nobody watched the damned thing but everyone seems to want to talk about it should say something about the state of American politics.